Innovating Labor

The persisting ‘cold’ depression, now entering it’s forth decade, has caused much pain and uncertainty for the majority of the US population. Once mighty cities are now rife with poverty, drug addiction, and crumbling infrastructure. Factories lay dormant, houses empty, waiting for jobs and prosperity that will never return.

Fortunately, for the savvy investor, periods of broad economic turmoil can often be used to great effect - whats more, they often fuel great technological breakthroughs, new innovations that bring with them wealth, prosperity, and stability. We at Toilet Group believe that we have found that next breakthrough.

Last year, the senate voted to open up the labor market to innovations in section 3 clause 5 subclause a) of the Consolidated Appropriations act 2017 omnibus spending bill. This new legislation presented us with the framework for a fabulous new service offering to compliment our gamechanging T-series computers:

C.A.A Sect. 3 Clause 5. Sub-Clause a).

Those persons in a position of severely impoverished means, legally constituted at a level of 15% below the federal poverty line, may henceforth liquidate their dependents to a private buyer up to the age of 14 years. This buyer may be an individual, firm, or buisness in good legal standing.

Furthermore, debtors who owe in excess of $250,000 shall be deemed unfit guardians and will be required to forfeit their dependents under the age of 14 to the United States government.

Finally, the preceding legislation negates the need for federal orphan care subsidies. All funding is to be discontinued immediately to promote participation in the new labor exchange programme.